This journal entry is a bit different and not an official part of the Ascending Journal series. Things have happened in my personal life. I need some fiction to clear the air. Right now my faith in the modern mystic documentary project is at its lowest. I need help. The next official part of Ascending Journal is entitled Help! I’m ready to accept that I am the only person willing to create the documentary, but I truly need a co-producer. Whole modern mystic is a study of self, it is a personal journey. The project is partly examining how much of the satisfaction in my life is based on a successful career. Is my life worth living if I’m not a star, director and a producer of some cool new personal documentary made with such a unique style that everyone is in awe? Deep inside everyone knows the answer. And I know I have this pointless problem of expectations just because so many other people have it too.
adam is lost
he knows eve could give him all he needs
eve knows her way
she knows what to do
adam decides to listen
he hears the call
Whenever I create a piece of art of some sort my goal is to dissolve some deeply rooted stress. There are times when I cannot yet clearly see what are the reasons the art chose to be created through me. Once during my studies I was told by a great script mentor called Teppo what was underlying my story. I immediately blushed when I realized that the character was simply an over the top version of an older version of myself. In the case of adam is lost I knew from the beginning the root stress of not been worthy of love was the underlying reason why I began the creative process.
I was sleeping in a small room in the top floor of a house called Hirvitalo or rather ascending there during a Kino Sound of Silence film making workshop. I was a bit cold both internally and externally and had trouble fading away to the unconscious state of deep sleep or to the point where one vanishes to reload oneself. So I stood up sitting on the bed next to the window and saw the view to the yard.
What I saw was a cool shot in a movie. I saw myself acting a character being distressed. Holding my head and moving around in a circle. But a similar problem to modern mystic rose; how could I film and direct while being in front of the camera as well? I continued ascending with my eyes shut and the story came to me in between the experience of the Ascendant. There’s a lady who calls a man and a teleportation, some old fashioned animation and a plant that manifests inside a singing bowl.
Here’s the original script that came to me during my meditation. It was first written in Finnish and finished 22nd of April at 3.40 am.
EXT. YARD – NIGHT
Male character rotates around in the middle of a yard. Shot from a high angle.
EXT. BEACH – NIGHT
Female character sits on a beach and plays a singing bowl circulating a wooden handle around it in a wide shot. She sets the bowl in front of her. Image jumps closer in 3 rhythmic cuts in sync with clanging of the bowl. Last cut: close up of the bowl. An animation of a plant revolving around 3 times happens inside the bowl.
Female character takes the plant from the bowl and hands it to the male character who has appeared in front of her.
The next day I met Antti who was working in the Hirvitalo “moose house” as a chef. Something in his energy resonated in me immediately. I recognized the similar pain in him that I carried inside me at the time. But also some other cosmic connections. After some friendly chatting I asked him to star in my silent short film. He said yes, it was easy. It wasn’t as easy to ask an artist called Kemê to do the female part. She was meanwhile setting up an art exhibition in Hirvitalo. What if she says no? She is perfect for the part and even friends with Antti… And she was originally from the same country as was my last lost love affair, the most recent relationship of mine that brought these emotions to the surface. Kemê said yes to the role. Everything was perfect. Later on the next day, while I was editing the film, Antti thanked me for the opportunity to process his emotions in front of the camera. He brought the agony from his own life and we cleared parts of it together through art.
Final layers were set on the third day of the workshop when a young talented Rosamaria composed the music at the eve of the premiere on one go after seeing the raw cut version. I had to create some noise with drums while Rosamaria courageously played the grand piano. The premiere screening during the Loud Silents film festival had some mild technical errors. (White distorted blocks in between the text. It slightly extending the duration) It was probably my fault. The festival of live music combined with silent short films is super cool and very professional.
The film is not technically as perfect as an ambitious film maker like me, sami here with a low case s, would wish. But with all of its flaws, the piece is as worthy of universal unconditional love as is anyone else speaking from their heart in any imaginable way.
This film ended one small chapter in my personal journey and I feel extremely blessed having the opportunity to share it now and process the emotions with other people, through other parts of me, my soul.
Thank you for helping me!
One of the fundamental focuses of Earth-life for
practically everyone is relationship. How many books, movies, TV shows are
written every year with romantic relationship as the most important
element? How much time is spent by an average adult thinking about and
working on relationships? And yet with all the attention from so many
millions, very few attain anything close to an Ideal Relationship. I think
this may be one of the most frustrating, if not the most
frustrating facts of Earth-life: with all the attention and desire focused
on relationship, very, very few attain Ideal relationships, relationships
that serve to expand the love and joy and healing of the partners and
everyone else touched by the union. Why is this? Primarily because the
focus is off: the only way to structure perfection on the outside is to
know perfection on the inside.
This simple assertion may seem to fly in the face of
common sense. If you want anything on the outside, how could you possibly
find it without looking outside? Skill in action comes when you learn the
inside controls the outside. Whatever it might be that you are seeking,
prepare first your mind and heart to receive it, and it will come to you.
Ignore this simple precept, and all the attention in the world focused
outward will never produce the desired result.
Relationships in the waking state are primarily based
on lack, on need, on limitation. One is attracted to another because of
some sort of hole in oneself. The outer person more or less fills the
hole; this leads to a temporary respite from experiencing the pain of the
Emptiness inside. But such a solution is temporary at best; the flowing
change of the Universe rips partners away from us, or reveals to us their
limitations in glaring terms that cannot be ignored. This can be an
extraordinarily painful process: if a large enough portion of your spirit
is invested in the other, than the removal of the other can be a living
When two come together from wholeness, on the other
hand, when neither is empty inside, when neither is attempting to fill a
subconscious or conscious lack, then the potential dawns to meet and
become involved with a true Complement. What is a “true
Complement?” A partner that is not coming to you out of lack or
limitation or pain or suffering but out of fullness and expansion and
completion and joy. The initial stage of such an Ideal Relationship may appear
similar to a relationship based in lack, but wait but the shortest of
moments, the Ideal Relationship expands love and joy of each of the
partners and everyone else in Creation. Such a Relationship heals not only
the principals but all people contacted by the couple. Because the
Relationship is not coming out of lack but solely out of expanding love
and joy, everyone touched by such a union is pushed ahead in the direction
of Healing. Such a Relationship, then, serves the purpose and intent of
the Holy Spirit to Heal all of humanity.
Many of us in our deepest hearts have sought such a
Relationship for years. Perhaps we accepted a compromise or two along the
way, perhaps we spent years in a relationship that was anything but Ideal,
perhaps we despaired of ever finding our Complement and gave up the search
long ago. Perhaps we believed perfection impossible to achieve and
contented ourselves with success in other areas.
For all who have given up, take heart! There is a new movement today
occurring on the Earth. The return to our world of the full feminine
counterpart of Isha, Ishani, is making possible today for everyone what
was before restricted to a fortunate few. The collective consciousness of
the human race is being daily more and more permeated with the quality of
unconditional love that is Ishani; the transformation of all relationships
in the light of the perfection of that love is certain.
The growth of consciousness of the human race mirrors
that of the individual. That which appeared as a fanciful or far-off dream
is today manifesting clearly on the Earth. Enlightenment was before
considered difficult or impossible to attain; today the very real goal of
full human consciousness is being attained by ever-expanding numbers of
Teachers and students of Ascension.
Three of the counterparts of full human consciousness
are relevant to the concept of Ideal Relationships. First, when one has
structured complete and perfect awareness of the Ascendant One always, one’s
sense of self-worth is no longer deficient. “Toady” self-worth
becomes impossible; since this is so, one of the primary stumbling blocks
to perfect Relationships is irrevocably gone. No longer does one seek a
partner to fulfill a lack or out of need; one seeks a perfect Complement
to continue to expand in love and joy and understanding.
Second, when one has stabilized awareness of the
Infinite everywhere, always, one naturally finds that there is no longer
any need nor even desire to control the environment. Control or the
attempt to control cripples more relationships than any other single fact.
In enlightenment, that is gone forever.
Third, when the perfection of Infinite Awareness is
lived continually, one no longer judges nor even attempts to judge the
environment nor anything in it. Without the ongoing battle of judgment,
life is freed to simply be. With the freedom of life to reside in
simplicity and grace, all the outer Universe aligns by improving the
quality of all relationships. Without judgment, there is no projection.
Without projection, one simply experiences what is being freely offered to
one. Then begins life in innocence and joy. Then the perfection of the
Ideal Relationship becomes as certain as the dawning of full
It is a wonderful, glorious, expanding moment in the
long history of the human race. Fortunate are those who are alive today to
experience the full descent of Ishani. More fortunate are those awake
enough to recognize this growth of unconditional love. Most fortunate are
those who have dedicated everything of their lives in one-pointed faith
and commitment to the Healing of the Earth and the will of God. Their
future is indescribable in wonder and glory.
(this and other articles can be found from ishaya.com)
2 thoughts on “adam is lost”
Thank You, Sami (with capital Y and capital S). I really appreciated watching the short film and reading the story that lead to its creation. I think, you will never be worthy of Love, as Love is not based on worthiness. The two “concepts” exist in two mutually exclusive universes. So trying to be worthy, trying to be what others or oneself (!) expect, would be foolish, as you all you would get is admiration, fame and such things – but not Love. As love cannot appreciate success more than failure, as this distinction would require judgement, which Love is not capable of. – Putting up a peace of art, which is imperfect to one’s own standards, in my opinion is actually an act of Love: showing up as a person that has its flaws, allows others to show (and admit and accept) their own flaws. Don’t we all have them? You might be interested in the talks of Brené Brown on TED , especially her first one: The power of vulnerability .
Love and blessings,
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